In a recent piece for The New Yorker, J.R. Moehringer, the ghostwriter for Prince Harry's memoir "Spare," shared his experiences working with the Duke of Sussex and the warmth he received from Meghan Markle during his stay at their Montecito home in Santa Barbara, California.
Moehringer recalled a heated disagreement with Prince Harry over a passage describing the prince's intense military exercises in England, where he was captured by mock terrorists who made a cruel remark about Princess Diana. The duke wanted to include a witty comeback he made at the time, but Moehringer found it "unnecessary, and somewhat inane."
Moehringer explained his stance, writing, "Good for Harry that he had the nerve, but ending with what he said would dilute the scene's meaning: that even at the most bizarre and peripheral moments of his life, his central tragedy intrudes."
After a tense moment during a 2:00 a.m. Zoom call, Prince Harry eventually conceded, understanding the ghostwriter's point that a memoir is a story carved from one's life meant to resonate with the widest range of people.
Moehringer also reminisced about his visits to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's residence. During his first visit with his family, the prince endeared himself to Moehringer's daughter Gracie with his extensive knowledge of the movie "Moana."
On his second visit, when he stayed in the couple's guest house, Meghan and their son Archie would visit him during their afternoon walks. The duchess, aware that Moehringer was missing his family, would often bring him food and treats. Upon his departure, Meghan sent him home with toys for his children.
Reflecting on the British royal family's motto of "never complain, never explain," Moehringer referred to it as "a prettified omertà." He suggested that such a code of silence may have exacerbated Prince Harry's grief as it discourages open communication. Moehringer noted, "if you don't speak your emotions you serve them, and if you don't tell your story you lose it—or, what might be worse, you get lost inside it. Telling is how we cement details, preserve continuity, stay sane."