Bette Davis, the iconic star of Hollywood's Golden Age, enjoyed a career that spanned five decades and earned her two Oscars. However, her quest for lasting love proved to be more challenging, marked by three divorces, sudden widowhood, betrayal by her daughter, and the loss of her one true love.
"If I was a fool in my personal life, I can't blame acting for that. I chose very foolishly," she once admitted. "None of my husbands was ever man enough to become Mr. Bette Davis."
Bette's fame and success created a significant hurdle in her marriages. Her first husband, musician Harmon Nelson, who had been her boarding school sweetheart, earned far less than her and felt emasculated by her accomplishments. Julia A. Stern, author of Bette Davis Black and White, explains, "She married him because he was a sweet guy, but he felt emasculated by her fame and success." After six years, the couple divorced in 1938.
Bette's driven, perfectionist nature also contributed to her difficulties in relationships. According to Stern, Bette was a workaholic whose focus was on acting as an intellectual engagement rather than being a movie star. This attitude sometimes made it challenging for her to collaborate with others.
However, she found a creative and intellectual equal in director William Wyler, with whom she made three of her best films: Jezebel (1938), The Letter (1940), and The Little Foxes (1941). Bette and Wyler had a tumultuous love affair, but they never married. "The love of her life was Willie Wyler. She always stated that," says Kathryn Sermak, Bette's longtime assistant and author of Miss D & Me.
Throughout her life, Bette prioritized motherhood, even though it came with its own challenges. Her relationship with her daughter, B.D., was strained, culminating in B.D.'s 1985 book, My Mother's Keeper, which painted Bette as a selfish, abusive alcoholic. The two never reconciled.
Despite the tumultuous aspects of her personal life, Bette Davis faced her journey with resilience and expressed few regrets. "I believe in one thing in this world," she said. "Out of everything comes some good, even if you just learn something."